Not So Regular
by ChickenHax
Summary: Alfred F. Jones life is... regular. That is, until he stumbles across a murder scene, committed by none other than Ivan Braginsky, head vampire of his coven, who has taking a real liking to our dear American. Alfred's life isn't so regular anymore. RusAme


CH: Alright. I suddenly got the urge to come back to the RusAme part of the fandom and decided to redo the most horrid fanfic I have ever written. Seriously. I'm shocked that you all liked it so much.

Anywhoo. Revamped it (lololol) hopefully it sounds a lot better. And yes, I won't be constantly updating. I unfortunately do NOT have the time for it...

Hope ya'll enjoy.

Disclaimer: Don't own Hetalia, bitches.

* * *

_Alfred's POV_

It was like any normal, awesome day for the hero, me, Alfred F. Jones.

I was chillin' out with my group of buddies, makin' fun of Artie-brows, pulling that un-awesome albino off my precious little bro before they decided to let their tongues dance in a disgustingly vigorous tango, had some of my senior buds pick up some delicious Mickey D's for me for lunch, and got to borrow a bad ass mother fuckin' game from my homie, Kiku. So I got an F on my English quiz and might have lost my assignment for World History, but it's all good. All awesome.

All regular. Normal.

_Boring._

It was all awesomely boring. It happened _every day_ of _every week_ of _every year_. It was all stagnate and shit! No sense of adventure, of excitement 'sides for when Me and Gilly go out and decide to prank the hell outta Artie or Elizabeta (Liz for short), but the adrenaline for that doesn't last long at all. The life of my heroic self was boring. Missing somethin' and dammit! It was getting on my damn nerves! No sixteen year old boy's life should be this borin'! Especially the hero's!

So imagine my luck when I'm walkin' home for football practice (because Artie-brows was being a douche and decided he rather go off and make kissy faces with Francy-pants, rather than pick me up) takin' the long way that leads a bit into the woods due to some construction, and hear a loud scream. High, pitching, horror movie nominee scream that I hear so much in all those movies I watch, that causes my body to freeze and snap my head into the thicker part of the woods.

My fists clenched as another scream was ripped out and echoed throughout the woods. Fuck no! I wasn't scared. Actually, my heart started to jump and thump loudly in my chest, adrenaline starting to pump my blood as the urge to help this person (woman?) increase by every heartbeat. Without a moment's hesitation, I drop my shit on the ground and ran through the thicket of branches and trees, the only thing with me is my cellphone secured in the pockets of my gym shorts.

Soon enough, scratched up with some epic scars of my haste all over my arms and shins, I stumbled upon a clearing. Only to quickly hide behind a bush.

It wasn't just any clearing, oh hell no.

The scene was anything but normal. From my angle all I could see were two men, well... at least I think one of him was one... He had pretty, dark and thick shoulder length dark hair. Slim body to boot. Though he looked like he was pretty worried 'bout something, even though he was lickin' his lips lightly.

The other guy though... This other guy looked as if he was leaning over somethin, y'know? All I could see was the sheen of his silver like hair and his pink scarf.

They were weird as fuck, but all I'm wonderin' is where the hell is that screaming woman? Did I come to the wrong place or something? Cause if I di-

Holy shit, the guy is standing up. He's standing up and all I see is that he's tall. He's really tall and looks batshit intimating (to others of course! Never me, the hero!) and fuck, he had a huge schnoz an-

Oh fuck, his eyes are hella pretty.

No seriously, they are. He turned his head to look and that's the first thing my sky blue are directed at.

I would have admired them more of course, if it weren't for the fact that the next thing I see is blood. Blood dribbling down his chin, to his neck, coating his pale pink lips and ohfuckohfuckohfuck is tha-

I found the screamer.

She's right there, limp in his arms and her pale neck teared open, lathered in that deep deep red. So much red that it's makin' me want to through up because I can see it on her clothes down her arms, and ah fuc-

"Why, look Toris. It seems that we have a little eavesdropper in our presence, da?" The bloodied mouthed man, chirps sweetly. Accent thick and covered, soaked in Russian native speaking tongue.

I swallow thickly. It would be a commie.

And fuck no! My hands aren't trembling! Hero's don't get scared, okay?

The pretty, distressed dude perks up a bit before looking at my direction and sendin' me a look of pity (why the hell is he looking at me like that) but didn't speak.

I licked my lips, eyes darting from the mangled body that the other threw on the floor (like a fuckin' ragdoll now that he's found something more interesting) to those pretty, pretty, dangerous eyes. Fuck! I wasn't going to let this... this cannibal get the best of me!

"A hero is a better term ya Commie-Cannibal!" I remarked slyly, my eyes boring holes into the others as I backed up. No use fightin' a murderer without a weapon.

The bloodied-mouthed man's eyes twinkled with amusement, lips turning upwards. Ah fuck, was he laughin' at me?

Bastard!

"A hero hm? Well. I suppose this hero will need a villain da?"

"Nah, I'm good. Got a villain already on hand but I'll consider you some other time, yeah?" I replied slowly before turning to make a dash for it.

Only to be pulled back and slammed against a fuckin tree! Jesus! He could be more fuckin' careful y'know?

"Nyet, my dear hero. You will not be going anywhere." The commie purred, yes, freakin' purred, at me, "Now you will tell me what you saw and you will say so clearly, da?"

"Like fuck I will." I hissed at him, frowning, "The only people I'm gonna tell is the police, not you, you bastard!"

The next thing I know, my head is whipped to the side and my cheek is hurting like a fucking boss an-

"Now you well tell me what I want, da?" He replied, having this creepy-ass smile on his freakin' face.

"The hell I will, cannibal! After you just slapped me? What the fuck is your deal!" I grounded out and tried to swing at him, only to miss and my hands caught and held in one of his large hands.

"You still think I am a cannibal?" He inquired with a small giggle, licking the blood from his lips, "Stupid, stupid American." And with that, his head moved to my neck.

Okay, I didn't fucking blush alright? If ya'll think I did, you're stupid seriously!

Ahem. While he did this, I felt sudden heat rush in my cheeks and my breath hitched in surprise as I felt soft lips brush against the junction in my neck, before feeling a hot tongue swipe against the skin. The cannibal let out a soft sigh and hummed lightly, "You smell very good... untouched..." he took another swipe, holding me against the tree painfully whenever I squirmed, "You are a virgin, da?"

Alright this time I did blush! Fuck! Who asks that kinda shit man? So unnecessary and creepy, not to mention douchebag-ish to remind a bro that he hasn't got any! Fuck man...

"What the hell? Why the hell do you need to kno-" I cut off, eyes widening as I felt something scrape against my neck then a sudden stinging pain. Dude, did he fucking scratch me? And oh... Oh...

I let out a soft noise as I felt the commie suck at my neck and lick up the blood that surely weld from the cuts he made. W-Was he drinking up my blood? Shit, was my cock coming alive?

He suddenly pulled back, his pretty pretty eyes looking in mine, "Mm, you are aren't you? You are very tasty." And then... then he smiled toothily.

And when I say toothily, I mean toothily.

Cause, y'know, he has two sets of fucking fangs and all that shit! Bloodied fucking enlarged fangs. Like a... like a...

A Vampire.

Oh shit... ohshitohshitohshitohshit!

"Get the hell offa me!" I yelled, pushing him away (surprisingly easily, as if he wanted me to leave...) and bolting away. Fuck no! No way in hell I'm gonna stay here! I saw what happens in all the movies!

The worst part of it was though... I can't get the feeling of him licking and nipping at my neck, makin' my body pulse and my senses haywire, out of my mind.


End file.
